John Wick – isn’t threatening at all

Posted: January 26, 2015 in Action & Adventure
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3 of 5 Oh-Noes-Don’t-Shoot-Me Stars – John Wick, starring Keanu Reeves.

I’m sorry, but I have a hard time finding Keanu Reeves threatening. He’s just not scary at all. If he pointed a gun at me, I’d just start to giggle. Because, come on man… The dude couldn’t hurt a fly. He’d make a horrible mercenary.

But that’s what he plays in this movie. A mercenary. A badass. A guy you don’t want to fuck with. Well, I get that from some guy like Mel Gibson, in Payback or something. But I just can’t get behind Keanu Reeves as a merc. I just don’t see it. It doesn’t fit. It doesn’t make sense. It’s just wrong, goddamnit.

But at least it’s not another goddamn Keanu ninja flick. Oh my god… Those are so terrible. At least this film was watchable. It’s actually fairly good, as action flicks go. It wasn’t boring, that’s for sure. The only thing that really does this movie in is the suspension of belief. Believing that Keanu is this badass dude. Because, I sure don’t believe it, man.

All I believe, is that it’s a well choreographed film. Keanu makes a great puppet, and he did the required actions perfectly. He shot at people. He did kung-fu. It’s a story of redemption. About John Wick coming out of retirement, to get the bad guys who took everything from him. So, nothing original. Just the usual shoot-’em-up, really.

All that being said, it’s still an enjoyable film. It was well worth watching, even though I couldn’t see Keanu as the character he was playing. But, I could still see all the killing, and fighting, and dancing… Wait, there was dancing? I don’t remember the dancing. But anyway, it wasn’t a bad flick, really.

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